La-la-la

This past weekend I flew up to Portland to visit Timi and fell in love with it again. I'm having a hard time separating the feelings I have for Portland as a city, the feelings I have for Timi as a friend, my dislike of having an unstimulating 9-5 job and how the combination of the three is affecting my memories of the past weekend.
So, about Portland. The only thing lacking from that city is a decent museum, but if I were to be honest, I would say that that's mostly my sister talking. Though I like having a museum nearby, I don't remember the last time that I've gone to LACMA or the Getty. That needs to be remedied soon. So, uh, back to Portland. I think I was lucky to be there on an incredible weekend because the whole city was in bloom and the contrast between that and ugly, strip-mall infested Torrance was a bit shocking. Also, Portland residents seem more normal than self-conscious LA types. I'm certainly no authority on that since I barely leave my house to even look at LA people.
About Timi. I've been getting these day-mares where I think that something might've happened to her, like an accident of some sort and I get horrified at the prospect of a life without her. I've been getting those day-mares about my family also, but I feel like I expect to see my parents die one day, but I don't really think about losing someone my age so it's more shocking when I lose myself in these terrible thoughts.
About my job. Well, what about my job? I honestly can't even say that I hate it. It lacks any sort of a despicable angle to hate, so even when I try, I can't to direct these feelings at a specific point. Linda, my cackling co-worker, is pretty annoying, but she provides me with some small amusement as I safely roll my eyes behind the perfectly positioned computer screen.

Do I want to move and change jobs? Oh yes, but right now this is too convenient and fresh to give up. I don't want to look like I skip and jump between jobs, so I'll stay at dear Waddell & Reed for a few more months. I've been thinking that maybe a good strategy for finding what I want to do with my life is to take note of activities that keep my attention in the few hours between work and sleep. Over the past month that has been music. Classical music to be exact. We'll see if this is a fad or something that will last. I was trying to think of why I've turned to classical lately, and I think that being at work makes me feel so dead inside, so ordinary, that when I come home I want something different, something that's not earthly, and classical music is just that. When I listen to pop/rock, I listen with my head, but classical, especially vocal and opera I hear somewhere inside my chest. It's like I can feel it resonating throughout my body. So I'm thinking that I might want to work with creative people. Some sort of managing of artists and venues. I'm thinking of volunteering at the LA Opera in the evenings to get some experience, but I'm scared to take the first step because I feel like I will get disillusioned quickly and it will just be a burden that I don't need.
On top of that I have all these small things to do that I'm not doing. Make doctors appointments, call people that I want to talk to but keep forgetting to physically dial, nail a hook to the wall by my closet, clean off my desk, organize my mp3s, sell stuff on craigslist...
As Brooke would say, "Oh life...". Oh, ordinary, mundane, boring life.