hmm

It seems like my last post gave off an "I hate being home" vibe (at least to one person). I'm not sure how that happened, but I guess it could be subconscious and I'm just not realising that I hate being home, I don't know. What I do know is that I don't really hate being home at all. When I first got back, I went through a social-phobia stage where I just didn't want to leave my house and its comforts. Then I moved on to being freaked out that I seem to have no social life and tried hard to hang out with people. I feel like now I'm in a more balanced phase where I don't mind hanging out with people, but I have a great time at home doing stuff and just hanging out with my family. I guess for me, fun used to equal going out, and slowly it's changing. Going out is fun in any case, but I think that a capability to have fun while at home, with family or by yourself is an important one to develop, especially for me, because if I do end up without a partner later in life, and if I happen to choose not to have children (that one is improbable though) it will be nice not to have to panic at the prospect of spending many nights at home. This isn't some scheme to reduce panic in the future, I'm simply saying, I'm happy where I am now.

In other news, Larkin is/was in LA and didn't call me. The truth is I would've liked to see him, and I feel like it wouldn't necessarily have been hostile, though it absolutely would've been awkward. I guess the question then is, why would I want to put myself in an awkward situation like that? I think that something positive could've come out of it, such as talking terms, though I don't know if there's even any point. I'd like to know how he is, where he got into, see how he's changed, etc. and it would be nice to know these things from talking to him in person and not just reading his blog every few days. This is a very self-conscious paragraph since I'm fairly certain he will read it.
So, uh, hi.