Socorro!!!

That means "Help!" in Spanish. I'm in Venice, Italy and while I'm supposed to be loving it because it is an amazing city, I'm being driven up the wall by my sister. She's a great artist, but I think the one thing that she's better at than art is driving me insane. Oh yes, she has that art down to a T. I won't go into detail about exactly what she does to drive me insane, but let's just say that any sort of fun or intersting activity that doesn't involve looking at paintings is out of the question. I honestly wish that I hadn't come to Venice. I know I will later, and I know I'll have such a better time, so why am I here now? Because I was decieved by my own optimistic mind once again. I thought that we were family and things are going to work out ok. Things are not ok, and when she acts like they are it drives me even more insane. Larkin was right, I will be miserable at home, so for that exact reason I will make just enough money to afford moving out, and then get out of there as soon as I can. Thank god that I'm pretty sure I have a temporary job lined up as soon as I get to LA, or else I'd panic.
We are leaving for Paris tomorrow and I can't wait, because there I will really be able to get out on my own and do whatever the hell I want. In Venice and in Antwerp we were stuck together because we had the same host and I felt strange just breaking off of them, though I wanted to so badly (and probably should've). There is absolutely no way that I'm paying her back for these RyanAir tickets. On top of everything, she has the nerve to tell me that if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't get to see Venice or Belgium. Excuse my French, but fuck that! I'd rather not be here at all and not almost ruin my first impression of there amazing places than be here like this. I'd rather be spending extra time in Paris and in Ireland by myself than being driven insane by her "company". Traveling alone was sooo much better! At least I met normal people at hostels.

End of rant.

NYE and Antwerp

Feliz Ano Nuevo!

(I also posted pics on my previous posts, so go back and look at them... now)

My New Years Eve turned out a lot tamer than I expected it to be, mainly because I didn't want to spend €30 on a couple of hours in a discoteca (which I now think was a mistake) and because after ringing in the new year at Plaza Catalunya in Barcelona with 6 portuguese speakers, we couldn't get into any of the bars, so I decided on going to the airport earlier than expected. After a flight to Paris and a 1st class train to Antwerp (they didn't have anything cheaper than a youth priced first class ticket, which actually wasn't even that expensive... 1st class is nice though), I was met by my sister an her non-axemurderer internet friend named Steven. After about 10 minutes of "Oh how nice, it's my sister!" I began to want to strangle her once again. Ah the good old days. She's not only driving me crazy, she's driving Steven crazy, which proves to me that I don't have these feelings just because she's my sister. Steven actually is really nice and interesting. He works at the library in Antwerp and he loves his job and he's almost making me want to go to library school. If the translation thing doesn't pan out, that's probably what I'll do. It's a bit too static of a job for me though. I dunno, maybe I'll save being a librarian until I'm older and more settled down and have actually chosen a place to live in this world.
Antwerp is beautiful. The central area is so alive and there is a great museum (in which I spent too much time because my sister would not leave), gorgeous buildings of all different eras, and I have to say, the best shopping I've seen anywhere. That includes Paris. I guess Antwerp is considered very stylish and there is a fashion institute, a fashion museum and people in general are very stylish. Overall, I love it, and I have the nicest host to show me around. As long as I pretend that my sister isn't whining and complaining every 5 minutes. Yesterday we went to Bruges, which was really beautiful as well, but a bit too touristy, and tomorrow we're going to Brussels. Should be exciting. My sister is cooking right now... let's just hope that after this dinner I live to see Brussels. Ciao!

Barthelona!

Pictures: both of these are from Parc Guell which honestly impressed me the most out of all of Barcelona's sights. Gaudi is a genious and this park is AMAZING!

I'm finally in Barcelona and I've been here since the night of the 25th. I have to say that after a week of being in practical solitary confinement as far as hostels go (they have beem completely empty up to this point and I've barely had any decent human interaction), be careful what you wish for. I'm in Barcelona, for gods sake, and I've barely left my hostel except to go sightsee for maybe a couple of hours and out to bars drinking. The rest of the time I've spent inside the hostel, either hanging out with people or drinking. Basically, way too much drinking, so I'm putting an end to this doing nothing productive thing today and going out to see this beautiful city.

I have to say though, the bar scene is amazing here. Two nights ago we went to this one bar called El Gato Negro where they have a menu of over 300 shots. Shots in Spain aren't the same as in the US, they're more like tasty little concoctions of light liquors of different flavors. The bartenders at this bar were going nuts, lighting things on fire, making sparks fly and mixing up the most delicious (though not very alcoholic, which was fine with me) "chupitos" - that's what shots here are called. The other night we went dancing to 80s. Hopefully tonight we're going out to a full blown discoteca because I haven't done that in a few weeks. New Years Eve is going to be pretty crazy here. I wish I was here for the whole night and didn't have to worry about catching a taxi to the airport at 4am (my flight is at 6am) or about somehow catching a train to Antwerp from Paris after not having slept at all. If there even are any trains at 8am from Paris to Antwerp. Ahhh, wish me luck! Hope everyone has a wonderful New Years Eve!

Feliz Navidad!

Pictures! :
1. Me and crazy Madrileno named Perrico
2. In my delirium I took quite an artistic photo of McDonalds decor
3. "Gracias" says the Madrid Airport McDonalds. The terminal is actually really modern in design. I likey.
4. Again, in my delirium at about 4am I took pictures of myself in a photobooth.

So because of this laptop ordeal I spent Christmas Eve at the Madrid Airport. It was actually not as bad as you would think, and I realized that if you´re not with people you love on Christmas, the best place to be is at the airport because like you, everyone else there just wants to forget that it´s Christmas. I met a guy who is living at the airport. Yes, actually living there. He´s Czech and the and a half months ago he was spending the night at the Madrid Airport and when he woke up all of his stuff was gone, including his passport. I guess he´s in trouble with the law in the Czech Republic, so the consulate isn´t being too helpful and they pretty much said that he can´t go back until he gets a new passport, which will be in 6 months. So he´s still got quite a bit of time to go. He wasn´t lying either, since I met all his airport employee friends who feed him McDonalds and let him use the employee showers. It´s crazy, I thought these things only happen in movies. Think Tom Hanks in The Terminal.

I slept for a total of maybe 2 hours that night, and then decided to go into the city while I waited for my flight, which was at 6pm the next day (25th). I took the metro to the center of town and went to Plaza Mayor to get something to eat. There was a market there and I sat down with my calamari bocadillo to peoplewatch. This guy comes up to me and he has just bought a ridiculously large wig, huge purple sunglasses and a yellow boa and was trying them on while talking to me. We kept talking and he invites me to go to a bar and get a drink. This all sounds really weird and creepy, but he actually wasn´t. He was just sorta crazy and really really funny. So we go into one of the bars that are lining the plaza (he´s wearing his ridiculous get-up at this point) and he buys me beer and instantly makes friends with this other guy. The two of them were probably the funniest Spanish people I´ve met here. They were both a little over 30 and while they kept telling me dirty jokes, neither one was actually hitting on me, which just made the whole thing that much more enjoyable. After like 4 of these beers each (they were sorta small) we go out and he starts asking these two Spanish girls if they smoke marijuana cause that was their next plan of action. These girls are twins and they´re 18, but they come along with us and we sit down right there, in full sight, next to this huge plaza, and they take out papers and weed and start smoking. No one got stoned or anything, but it made for nice conversation. So after this, they go and get yet more beer and then it´s 3pm and I have to get back to the airport, so these two gentlemen walk me to the Metro station, we exchange email addresses and I´m off. It was probably the most random afternoon I´ve ever had in my life, and once I get to someplace with wifi, I´ll post pictures of these guys. I´ll say this again, no matter how weird and I guess unsafe the whole thing sounds, I was using my best common sense, staying in a crowd, etc, until I realized that these guys aren´t after anything, they´re just very random and crazy. Before I left he did ask me to be his girlfriend, but that was more of a joke than anything else. It was the best farewell that I could have bid to Madrid.

!Madrid, te quiero!

Frustration to the Nth degree

So here I am in Santiago de Compostela. The city is so beautiful, so alive and so peaceful all at the same time, but for the past 2 days I haven´t been able to enjoy any of it because of a little incident that happened to me in the Madrid Airport before I took off to Santiago. This post will be copied and pasted from a couple of emails that I wrote to Timi and Lala because I don´t feel like going over the whole thing once again.

(2 days ago)
I´m completely depressed in Santiago de Compostela in the north of Spain in Galicia at an internet cafe and I feel like I want to kill myself. At the Madrid airport when I was going through baggage security with the x-rays and all of that, they asked me to take my laptop out and put it into a different gray box to go through the xray. I put it in, put my backpack into a different box, then took my backpack, got on the plane and left. Then standing at the Santiago airport bus station I realized that I never put my laptop back in my backpack... I thought I was going to throw up. I felt (and still feel) like the most irresponsible stupid person ever. Then again, I´ve never really done anything like this before. I´m late everywhere, all the time, but I´ve never lost anything of importance in my life. This Canadian guy that I met at the bus stop watched me go through all of the stages of grief right there on the street - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. And the the five stages all over again, all in about 5 minutes. Right now I can´t find one reason why somebody at the baggage check didn´t just pocket my laptop, but nevertheless I´ve been trying to reach Madrid lost and found for 2 days straight with no success... I hate everything about the Madrid airport right now and I want to kill them all and then kill myself. I know the laptop isn´t even that expensive and I can probably pay for it in 2 weeks worth of working full time, but this put and enormous damper on my trip. Santiago is beautiful and I can´t seem to enjoy it at all. I´m gonna have snap out of this soon or the rest of this trip is going to be ruined...
(about 2 days later)
After having talked to about 15-20 (this is not an exaggeration) phone operators (Spanish and English speaking at different times) at the Madrid Airport, after the lost luggage department´s phone number has been broken for the past 2 days, after the back-up phone for the department has been broken for about 2 days as well, after crying to the only American phone operator named Daniel at the airport and him trying to tell me to please not cry, after more frustration that I have ever endured with any sort of administrative system, after spending over 40 euros on my fucking good for nothing Vodaphone mobile phone, after finally figuring out that buying a phone card would be cheaper, and after explaining to a lady at left luggage at Madrid airport Terminal 4 (whose phone apparently got fixed only this morning) what my laptop looks like and that the background photo is Plaza de Corredera in Cordoba decorated for christmas with a giant christmas tree in the middle made completely out of red poinsettia plants (this is all in Spanish by the way), she finally tells me... that my laptop is sitting pretty on their shelf and I can pick it up whenever I like. I will now be spending Christmas Eve in the Madrid Airport (unless I want to pay for a hostel...which I don´t) waiting for my flight from Madrid to Barcelona on the 25th.

The problem with this is that I have spent the past 4 months defending the way that the Spanish conduct business, bring you coffee a bit late, take forever to bring you your check at a restaurant, take siesta for longer than needed... all these things that I thought were nice and relaxing... but I am at the end of that line. The level or service in this country is absolutely ridiculously low and I can´t stand it. I still love Spain and I want to come back and all that, but I have never been more frustrated with any administrative thing in my life. The telephone number was broken, the other telephone number was broken as well, and there was no back up, NOTHING. This just would not happen at LAX. There´s always someone, there´s always a backup, there´s always another phone number to transfer to or something. Here... nothing. I´ve been so frustrated that this frustration hasn´t let me go yet. I still feel nervous inside even thougth I know I found my laptop and it´s there and it´s working (since the lady could look at my background photo...heh). When I go back there I want to bring a baseball bat with me... But anyways... All is better now. I´m out an extra 100euros because of this ordeal and probably a few nerve connections in my brain have died (if that´s even possible), but all in all, I´m in one piece and things could be A LOT worse. Now, back to being me again.

Ya es Navidad!

So like I said, people here go completely insane for Christmas. It's all of the consumerism that we have in the US combined with 95% of the population being Catholic. There's no "Happy Holidays!" P.C. crap. It's "Feliz Navidad". Period. And yeah, sometimes "Felicidades!" but the Navidad part is pretty much implied. They have their own traditions and they adopt American ones too, so spoiled Spanish brats get presents from Santa on the 25th like the Americans, and then yet bigger presents on January 6th from the Three Magi (sp?).

Oh a less innocent note, I finally really went out last night. It was our last botellon and our last night going to the discos. What a drama filled night! I just wish people didn't get so pissed drunk because they were happy. I mean I was very tipsy myself, but people just get carried away in the whole "wooo! my last night out in Spain!" thing and drink themselves to an extremely borracho state and do things they regret. I, on the other hand, regret nothing!

The past two nights I've finally been hanging out with people who are also sad to leave. I feel like before that all of the people I'd try to hang out with would only bitch and moan about how much they miss Costco samples and burritos. Don't get me wrong, I do love a Costco sample now and then, and I don't even get me started on the burritos, but for god's sake, shut up and enjoy your last week in Cordoba! I'm sure I annoy them back with my "Oh, god I'm sooo sad to leave!" laments. I can't even think about my last morning here, being packed up and going to bed and then waking up, opening my eyes and just having this knowledge that this is the last time I'm opening my eyes to a Cordoba morning. I don't know how to say goodbye. I don't know how to say goodbye to Maty, or my cat Taby, or these cobblestone streets, or glancing at the tower of the Mezquita for the last time, making the walk to the bus station with my bags... I just don't know. I can't imagine it. When it happens it will be like a dream. I know I'm gonna cry. I already get this heavy feeling in my stomach just thinking about it. I guess in the words of the Governator, "I'll be back".

As for my adventure, it seems that it will be shortened by several days since Korin has almost decided not to come back to Germany after winter break. I'm changing my ticket tomorrow to some time around Jan.15. Hopefully they don't charge me up the ass for this one... It's already enough that I have a wasted Paris-Hanover ticket. =(

Now it's back to my house for dinner and some intense studying. Grammar final tomorrow. Wish me luck!

change is good.

A graffiti I found by one of my favorite cafes.

I can't stand the thought of leaving. I almost started crying listening to an Oreja de Van Gogh song. I don't even like that group that much but I know it's gonna remind me so much of my time here. Also Chambao. The joy with which I walk to school listening to their songs early in the morning will stay with me for a long time. I've felt like that many times in Santa Cruz even on the most boring, never-ending 8 hour day at work, I'd be walking from the library to Baytree and look around and marvel at the beauty around me and I'd want to cry because I knew it was my last month experiencing that as an everyday thing. Visiting is just so different. When I do visit (probably in February), I'm getting a Coffeetopia quick cup with a bagel and sun dried tomato cream cheese, getting stuff done on campus, then I'm getting a Vallarta burrito for lunch, visiting people and window-shopping downtown, then strolling down East Cliff Drive before having tom yum and green curry at Sabieng with friends and then a Guinness at the Poet and Patriot. (sorry Korin, I stole some of those from you)

As far as traveling, my itinerary is fairly set. At first I was most scared about spending Christmas alone, which is slightly absurd since I don't truly celebrate Christmas. Nevertheless I've always seen the value in a unified human emotion at times, and I feel like that's what Christmas (or to put to in a more P.C. manner - the holiday season) does to the world, and something I would be distanced from if I were to spend it alone in a hostel. In Russia I had "Christmas" but it was on New Years Eve, so the traditions were still there and the holiday spirit definitely rears it's pretty little head during the month of December. You wouldn’t believe how insanely decorated Cordoba is. I think the official illumination of the city will be tonight at 12am. I’ll post pictures after that happens. Well, now I'm spending Christmas with Christina (a girl from my program) and her sister, in Barcelona. Not much of a family I guess, but the knowledge of that has been quite a relief for me. NYE I will still be in Barcelona and will most likely not sleep all night and take a January 1st, 6:30am flight to Paris from Barcelona airport. I’ll hopefully be able to go straight to my great-aunt’s apartment and then go to Antwerp, Belgium for a couple of days, and come back with my sister (!) who is now coming to Europe as well. We’re gonna stay with my aunt until I leave on the 10th to go to Hanover where I will stay with Korin for 10 days. We’ll probably go to Berlin and Amsterdam and I’m trying to get her to come to Ireland with me.
So I guess I’m not so solo after all. Most of my solo traveling will be done in Spain (Christina will only be there for 2 days), then maybe some of Germany if Korin is busy with work, and then Ireland. I was sort of looking forward to this great adventure alone, but I won’t lie, I was extremely happy to find out that my sister is coming as well.

I was rereading the last chain of emails that Larkin and I sent to each other and Gmail decided to generate some advertisment for my reading pleasure. The ad generator works by scanning through the text of the email that you happen to be looking at and displaying appropriate advertisement for you on the side. For example, you could be telling your best friend about your new cat Fluffy and Gmail puts in ads for petmeds.com, or getridoffleas.com, etc. So what did Gmail decide to generate for me this time?

Save Your Relationship!
Proven Method and Strategy Get Back With Your Ex Now
www.DontBreakUp.com

It seems that there is a remedy for anything these days…

Thing end and things begin again and you can't stop it from happening. Change is good.

Y si un día me siento transformado
y decido reorientar la dirección,
tomare un nuevo rumbo sin prejuicios
porque en el cambio esta la evolución

Novermber is nearing its end

So many things, so little space. I wish I updated more often so people could follow my thought process of things. It's unlikely to happen, but I'll try nevertheless.
I've traveled little since Madrid. Just to a nearby village and to a nearby castle, which were amazing, but not some grand adventure. My big adventure will come very soon though, in about 3 weeks when the program end. I really can't believe this is the end... I'm trying to savour every moment, every breath and every step but it's slipping through my fingers so quickly.

In three weeks I will begin traveling throughout Europe almost by myself. I broke up with Larkin about three weeks ago now. The reasons for it were numerous, and it saddens me that he doesn't understand them, even though he's heard them very clearly. I don't know if it would make it easier if he did understand them, but I tried. We probably won't be talking for a long while now, which is taking some getting used to. We also certainly won't be traveling together. That was a big reason for the break up for me. I realized that this was mine, and for several reasons I just didn't want to share it with him. In my last post I said that I have to keep reminding myself that this situation that I'm in is not real. Everything is easy and fun and it will only last for the next few weeks. Well, I don't know if I feel that way now. I'm literally in love with life here. I just want to soak it all in, and I can't allow the thought that I won't come back into my head. It just doesn't sit comfortably there. So my plan is go back to the U.S., pay off my credit cards, save some money and come back here. Maybe not to Cordoba, but to Spain. And even if it's not Spain, then somewhere else in Europe. I don't want this to go away, I don't want to let this go. I wish I was staying here for the entire year but it's way too late to extend and I can't afford it right now anyways.

Over the past few weeks I've been feeling another surge of confidence in my Spanish. Every one of my professors says that this is normal and it's just a part of learning a language intensively like this. There's a surge and a plateau, then another surge and another plateau, and on and on and on until complete fluency. I'm nowhere near fluency, but I'm not afraid anymore. Because of this I feel like I've been getting sneak previews of this Spanish life that I didn't know existed before. Personal relationships between people, irony, friendship structures, etc. Just everyday things that everyone has in their life. I feel like until now, because of the language barrier, Spanish people were just these one dimentional cardboard cutouts that just looked different, but talked about the same things. And it's true, all we've talked about with Spanish professors and Spanish friends is cultural differences and the weather. Flat, impersonal observations. Now, these individuals are coming into relief and some of them are fascinating people, and I don't want to leave them just yet.

I'm sorry that I didn't go into details about my break-up with Larkin, but this is definitely something saved for close friends, and not for my public blog.

yay a post!

(photo guide, see P.S.)

Well, I'm back on the blog wagon. Sorry for not writing for such a long time to anyone who reads this. I guess I've been doing a lot since I last wrote so I'll try to organize this entry somewhat.

I went to Granada one more time, this time with our class and it was incredible! We went to the Alhambra which is now one of my favorite buildings (or, umm, cities) in the world. Others on that list are Canterbury Cathedral and the Space Needle in Seattle. A lot of it has been restored but most of it has survived in almost perfectly and it still blows me away to actually stand in the same rooms, touch the same walls that have been touched by caliphs and some foreign ambassadors and what not. I definitely felt a bit star struck to just be in this place that I've heard so much about. I feel the same way in the presence of great paintings too (more about that later). I guess it's a bit silly, but I let myself anyways. The hostel that we stayed at was honestly the best hostel I've ever stayed at. The kitchen was loaded with free food, there was a rooftop terrace with a hammock and an incredible view of the city. My friend Jenna's host brother is studying in Granada so we went out at night with him and his friends, which was a lot of fun.

The weekend after that was a really long weekend and while pretty much everyone in my program went to Barcelona, I decided to go to Madrid by myself since I'm going to Barcelona with Larkin in December. I figured that staying in a hostel I'd meet a bunch of people and have things to do, plus two of my friends who went to Barcelona were coming back through Madrid and staying for a night. What's funny though is that the only time I actually wanted to have someone there to hang out with was at night when I wasn't sneezing and coughing (yes, lucky me, I was sick). The day that I got there at 2pm, I checked into my hostel, dropped off my stuff and was at the Prado museum by 3:30 and stayed for 5 hours. Next to the Louvre it's the best museum I've ever been to. That night I went to get incredible ice cream with two american girls who have been traveling around Europe for 2 months and were so incredibly American... Definitely the stereotypical American tourists who walk into a place not even attempting to speak the native language at all, and just assuming that everyone in the world speaks English. The next day I went to the Thyssen-Bormenizsa (I think I'm spelling that right) museum which was really different in the way that it had works from all centuries put together in a chronological sequence, so you'd be walking through Medieval art, past the old masters like Rubens and Titian, through Impressionists and Picassos and Dalis and end up with pop art. Definitely a pretty cool experience. For lunch I got a cheap shwarma sandwich to go and headed to the Parque del Buen Retiro which used to be the royal hunting grounds, but now it's just a huge beautiful park. Eating delicious shwarma in front of the Crystal Palace watching ducks in a pond, while listening to some students practicing Spanish guitar near you was one of the best hours that I spent in Madrid. Unfortunately it was also one of the times that made me feel pretty lonely cause I would've loved to share that experince with someone. The next day I went shopping... bad idea. Shopping in Madrid is amazing! Not only are there normal stores like Mango, Zara and H&M (which are about 3x the size of the same ones in Cordoba), there are all kinds styles in smaller stores and about 3 shoe stores for each block. I didn't end up buying that much but I certainly wished that I could. The next day I went to see the Royal Palace and met up with my friends who came from Barcelona. Madrid definitely is a huge city in the way that it feels and the things it offers. We had Chinese that night and I had hot and sour soup that was actually hot and sour and not some concoction they made for spice-shy Spaniards. Don't get me wrong, the food here is amazing, but you will have a really hard time finding anything even remotely spicy in Cordoba. They also have movie theatres that play American movies UNdubbed and subtitled instead. This is a huge drawback of Spanish movie theatres, because pretty much everywhere else they keep movies in their original version and subtitle them... here, well, I think people are sorta lazy about that, so everything sounds really funny to us. Two nights ago I watched El Senor de los Anillos (yeah, go translate that yourself) on TV and it was pretty funny, but for me personally it helps with learning Spanish, especially when I've seen the movie about 5 times already in English and know exactly what the characters are gonna say. The only movie that I've seen here in theaters was Alatriste, which is the most expensive Spanish production so far, and you guys should all go see it if it's playing nearby. It's really good, despite the fact that there are throats slit about every 10 minutes. I understood about 25% of it, but still, enough to keep up with the plot and really enjoy it. So back to Madrid. On Sunday we went to the Reina Sofia museum which has a huge collection of Picasso and other modern art, which I don't really like very much so for me it was just ok. Over the whole weekend I walked around the whole city all day, every day and by nighttime I'd be so exhausted I had no desire to go out dancing all night or anything like that. Though nightlife in Madrid is supposed to be amazing, I didn't get to experience it that weekend, but I'll definitely go back.

Since that weekend I haven't gone anywhere else, mainly stayed around Cordoba and explored a little more. My friend Chaya has an intercambio who has a friend who is a tour guide around the city and he agreed to give us a walking tour of Cordoba for free. Needless to say it was amazing. I loved it, but I've already been to most of the places before because during the first few weeks I walked around the city a lot by myself, but it was still great to hear more about the history and random local legends connected with the buildings and streets. I also met some British students who are here to teach English for a year. They're friends with an American girl who is also teaching English here through a fellowship that she applied to, which apparently isn't that hard to go, you just need to apply carefully and write a decent essay. I really would love to come back here and stay longer, and that's been a partial cause for a lot of confusion that I've been going through lately. I guess just general confusion about what I want out of life, what is important to me and how to prioritise those things and people. It's been bothering me a lot and I've sort of been an emotional wreck for the past week and a half. The English teaching thing certainly isn't the only cause of all this confusion, but I guess I've been getting scared of leaving Spain and my life here. I have to force myself to keep in mind that this life isn't the real Spanish life. I live in the nicest part of town, my friends were handed to me on a silver platter, I go out every weekend and I barely do any homework because most days none is assigned. Then again, these British students pay 150€ for their own room in a nice apartment while getting paid about 650€ a month. Not too shabby either, and their life definitely resembles "real" Spanish life.

Obviously I can't possibly write down everything I've done and every way that I've felt over the past month, but here are the Cliff notes. I hope everyone's doing well. I promise I'm getting on this post card thing. Dear ol' McHenry is getting one for sure. I'll try to write more often...heh as always.

Besitos,
Rena

P.S. Guide to photos (up -> down, left -> right)
1. Neat statue in the middle of Paseo Del Prado in Madrid
2. A window at the Alhambra looking out unto the city of Granada
3. Inside the Alhambra
4. El Palacio Cristal (The Crystal Palace) in Parque del Buen Retiro in Madrid
5. My feet, as I'm lying in a hammock out in the sun on the terrace of our amazing hostel in Granada

ole

On Saturday I had another one of my many "Oh f*ck, I'm really in SPAIN!" moments. Naturally it happened because me and a few people from the program went to a corrida de toros (bullfight) in a tiny town of Pozoblanco near Cordoba. I'll post some pics and many many of them are really good, mostly because it's really easy to take good pictures at a corrida. Every moment has this weird intense beauty to it, so it's only a matter of catching a few of those moments. The experience is definitely very, very intense. I don't agree with the killing of the bulls and it's very difficult to watch the end of each corrida, but at least you feel like the animal isn't suffering anymore. During the first one (there were 6 bulls killed in the span of about 2 hours...) I was so shocked I just sat there with my hand over my mouth saying "ohmygod...ohmygod...ohmygod..." As sad as it is, you definitely get a bit desensitized by the end of it, but the actual killing of each bull is still pretty hard to stomach. I feel conflicted on the matter, because I'm not a vegetarian and though I try, I don't eat organic very much so I feel like a hypocrite saying that corrida is cruel, but my filet mignon is not. I don't know how much pain my filet mignon cow experiences in comparison to the corrida bull, and who can really compare the two? Also, from a neuroscience point of view, I have no idea how pain is experienced by cattle as opposed to humans. Either way, I'd like to err on the side of caution and say that the torture and killing of the bull is not to my liking. That being said, I can't lie, the experience is absolutely beautiful. There is so much energy in the arena and though the bull is weakened before the fight, it at least feels like a fair battle. The matador is extremely graceful and (despite the funny black hat) just exudes an almost sexual confidence. It's almost like a machismo battle between the matador (or matadora) and the bull. One of the ways for them to get more points is to show their back to the bull and sorta wave to the crowd which shows the matador's dominance over the bull, I think. The level of showmanship is incredible and the whole thing feels like a dance. There is a corrida coming to Cordoba in a couple of weeks, and for a second I seriously considered going again, but it's still just too cruel. I would love to go to a bullfight in Portugal where they don't actually torture or kill the bull. I'm not sure exactly how that works, but I'm sure I'd enjoy it a lot more. In Catalunya (the northeastern region where Barcelona is located), people are really against bullfighting and it's almost abolished at this point. Apparently the only people that go are the tourists. I don't think they should abolish it, but the killing is unnecessarily cruel. I really wish I had read The Sun Also Rises or Death in the Afternoon before I came here. I'll try to get a hold of it at a library here cause buying books (esp. books in English) is insanely expensive.

life

I suppose I haven't updated in a while. Life has been great here, I love my family and I think I'm finally starting to make friends in the program. Last weekend I went to Granada which was beautiful. I'll have some pics on my website, but I forgot my camera in the hostel dorm the first day so I missed out on all those pictures. Granada is a bit smaller than Cordoba but it's hilly which makes it feel completely different. We didn't go to the famous Alhambra this time because we're going there with our program in 2 weeks. I definitely haven't exhausted Cordoba yet. I keep finding tiny new streets and plazas to explore and new ice cream stands to try. There's so much history here, it's incredible. Our history class is really great and what makes it even better is that I can see a lot of the historical sights and monuments right in front of me while walking back from school. Cordoba was the biggest city in Europe 1000 years ago during the Muslim rule so there's definitely a lot of that.

I just wrote a page in Spanish so my English sounds kinda funny to me. I've been saying things differently because I'm constantly in this mode of feeling like I have think before I say stuff, so sometimes my English sounds too formal or just plain awkward. Today during class I was getting really annoyed with some people in the program. I feel like so many of them don't really care about learning Spanish and I just don't understand. I'd completely understand them back in the U.S. because I was just like that (which is why I have to work harder now), but here we have such an amazing opportunity to learn "boring" grammar and go home and practice it right away, I don't understand throwing that away. Almost everyone speaks English during our breaks even though some simple things are so easy to say in Spanish. Maybe I'm annoyed because I feel like for a very rare moment in my life I'm so inspired to learn and soak up everything that's presented to me in class and I feel like these people are almost getting in my way. I'm certainly not talking about everyone and of course I'm guilty of the English cop-out also, but I really feel like some people aren't trying at all here and it's a bit depressing. Nevertheless, I've improved A LOT. On the bus ride back from Granada, I picked up a Glamour magazine and read it on the way and barely had to open a dictionary. Given, of course, that Glamour isn't exactly written by Shakespeare (or Cervantes for that matter), I think that's pretty good for 3 weeks.

My host mom is making tortilla espanola with sal morejo cordobes today so I'm pretty excited about supper. Her usual cooking isn't that great but when she cooks traditional Spanish food it's delicious. I'm definitely bringing back a cookbook. In all other respects I honestly can't complain about my family at all.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to a bullfight this weekend. I don't really know how I feel about it. I want to go and watch it, but I guess I wish the bull was... fake or something. Yeah, I eat meat, and yeah I'm sure that those cows are tortured just as much (but in different ways), but I never watch it happen. I feel like corrida de toros is only maybe a step above gladiators and yet it's still huge here in Spain.

Though everything is great here I definitely get lonely a lot more often than I expected myself to be so please, please write. I don't really have time to write everyone individual emails on my own initiative, but if you write to me, I'll definitely answer. Also, if you want to send me a postcard, or a letter or a present, all of which I highly encourage, you can do so at...
Rena Ragimov
University of California Program in Cordoba
UCO IDIOMAS (Edificio Servicios Multiples)
5a planta
Avda. Menendez Pidal, s/n
14004 Cordoba, Espana

I'll try to update this more often. Until then,

Besitos,
Rena

getting a bit more comfortable in Cordoba...

I can't write very much now cause my wi-fi cafe is closing soon, but for anyone who wants to call me from America, it's 011-34 (dialing out and country code) then, 627-808-856, which is my actual number. Last night was my first big night out here in Spain and part of it was great and a part of it sucked. More details later.

I started a photo album online and the address is http://renasphotos.fotopic.net

enjoy! I miss you all!
Hasta luego!

happenings as of late

Yesterday (Tuesday) we all took a language placement quiz which consisted of an written portion and an oral one. I honestly thought I did ok on both, but today I found out that I got into Spanish 1 (there are 3 levels) and instead of an elective I got stuck with this "special" class for people who need extra practice in Spanish. Go me... They keep telling us that we're not in the class because we're less smart, but we all just give them these "yeah right" looks. I think that everyone in the class is pretty disappointed. Oh well, like the Spanish say "no pasa nada". On our first day our orientation leaders told us about that phrase and in fact everyone here says it all the time. It sort of epitomizes the lifestyle. The phrase literally means "nothing happens", and really, nothing ever happens. If you have to wait a few extra minutes for your coffee... no pasa nada. If you're stuck in traffic... no pasa nada. If you didn't get into the highest Spanish class... no pasa nada. All in all, I think I like these people. It's almost existential in a way. Nothing really happens.
Mati is great and I'm making friends with Taby the gato-perro, as they call her. She waits by the door, like a dog, when Manolo is due to come home every day. Mati watches A LOT of TV, and I think a lot of people here do. It's good for me cause I listen and ask her questions, but I don't get how she does it.
Monday night everyone went out to a bar called Bambuddha and though it wasn't a discoteca, there were like 20 of us so we sort of took over the place and started dancing anyways. At 2am I quietly opened the front door trying not to wake anyone, only to find Mati and Manolo still sitting around watching TV as if it was an early evening. They go to bed at about 2:30 or 3am every night. The schedule here is definitely crazy.
Last night I went to a free flamenco show at this old, open air court and it was amazing. The dancer wasn't that great, but the musicians were incredible. I think it's some sort of an anniversary here, so they're gonna have free flamenco shows every night for some time. We're also gonna have free flamenco classes through the university for anyone who wants to take them and I'm definitley signing up.
This weekend a lot of people are going to beach towns like Malaga and Cadiz, but I kinda want to stay around Cordoba and explore. I also don't want to roll into town with 20 other Americans and go around in a huge group. I think I'm gonna wait another week to see exactly who I want to travel with.

Cordoba!

I finally got to Cordoba in the early morning of Sept. 3rd and since our meeting wasn't until 7pm that night I had to hang out at the hotel for a bit. I met a few people from my program since we were all staying at the hotel that night. The people are pretty cool though some of them seem sort of young. I expected myself to be super-social here, but instead I find myself missing everyone a lot and I've been feeling like I have to force myself to talk to people. I don't really feel homesick, I just wish Larkin and my friends were here instead of these random EAP people.
During the first meetings there was a girl that came to talk to us who met her now-fiance here last spring and is now living here with his family (he's Spanish). She kept talking about how great her host family was, and it turned out that I'm living with the same family she was. So despite my crazy aunt, my family is great so far. It's a couple and their cat. Manuel (the husband) is barely ever home (I haven't met him yet), so most of the time it's just gonna be me, Matilde (my host madre) and Taby, who is an enormous, white persian cat. He works at the university, she is a hairdresser and I'm pretty sure Taby is a professional lounger. Mati is really nice and patient with my awful Spanish and explains everything really well, though she does have an Andalucian accent which makes it a bit harder. They skip a lot of S's and D's, so sometimes it takes me a while to understand simple words. It's ok though, I'm actually not as bad as I expected myself to be. Me and her already talked a little about politics and I told her about my family and friends and she seemed to understand me. We watched the news together and I could actually keep up with what they were talking about.
I'm pretty much in the best location in town, my room is great and I even have a little balcony from which I can see the famous Mezquita. I'll be starting a Picasa photo album soon so you guys can see pictures. Cordoba is amazing! I haven't seen any of the sights really, or gone to museums or anything, but they look gorgeous. I don't have internet at the house but there is a cafe with wi-fi really close to here. Right now it's over 100F outside and it's siesta so the streets are EMPTY. I think I really like this schedule. Everything closes at about 2:30pm and opens again at around 5-6pm and stays open till 9-10pm in time for supper. It's really rude to call or bother anyone around siesta cause a lot of people are sleeping or just relaxing in some way.
Well, our language placement exam is tomorrow so I better go study a bit. Hasta luego!

Bunratty and my crazy Alicante relatives

While my first day in Ireland consisted mostly of sleeping and talking to people on AIM from my hostel dorm, I was finally forced out of hiding by hunger. While making some pasta in the kitchen I met some German travelers who could not stop talking about beer. As much as I hate stereotypes, they do like their beer. The next day my bus back to the airport wasn't until 3pm which gave me plenty of time for an adventure. While walking around town (the perimeter of which took up about 10 minutes) I asked a nice Irish lady if Bunratty Castle was within walking distance. She told me that it was about a 3km walk (or did she say 3 mile?) so I took off. I ended up making a 14km roundtrip journey to Bunratty, down a very narrow country road with no sidewalks. Despite my blistered hurting feet, it was definitely worth it. The castle was beautiful and the surrounding folk park looked like an emptied out Renaissance Faire grounds, except the buildings were real. I miraculously resisted the urge to buy any more overpriced Celtic jewelry and I got back just in time for my bus.

The plane to Murcia (a town about 50km from Alicante, where my Aunt lives) was pretty uneventful and I was met by a VERY tall, young, blond Russian woman named Oksana (a friend of my Aunt), her husband Pavel and their 19 year old friend, Maxim. Apparently there is a growing Russian population on the Costa Blanca, where anyone who can afford it buys property and then moves to find illegal work. As much as I want to be appreciative of everything they did for me (pick me up from a distant airport), they were pretty much the epitome of the obnoxious, vulgar, rude Russians that I do my best to avoid. Maybe I sound prissy and prudish, but honestly, how many times can you make references to your cock in one car ride??? And on top of that Maxim threw an empty Coke can out the window while complaining about how Spaniards are so dumb and dirty and absolute nothings compared to them Russians. When we got to my Aunt's house everyone sat around and ate and drank and made me feel young and naive for not wanting to drink very much... And my Aunt (whom I haven't seen since I was 6 years old) chimed right in to their obnoxious conversation. Gah... Again, I really do appreciate that I'm staying here for a couple of days, and they are all very kind people, but definitely not someone I would want to associate with... I don't know... maybe people that I would associate with wouldn't pick me up from the airport and put me up for 2 nights, but I think you can be kind and intelligent all at the same time. After Oksana, Pavel and Maxim left, my Aunt had a talk with me about how ALL Spanish men are shit and I shouldn't talk to them EVER... She also read my fortune on cards and told me that everything is gonna go wrong with my host family and that I'm gonna have to switch. Yay. I'm glad I don't really believe in that sort of thing, though it may very well come true. After all, not getting along with my host family was pretty much my biggest fear about this trip. Last night I didn't sleep at all. I'm pretty sure the jet lag is gone, I just couldn't stop thinking about the events of the evening, and human nature, and feminism, and my own prejudices... bah. Needless to say, I'm pretty anxious to get out of here.

First day in Ireland

Well everyone, I'm in Ireland at at last! My first impression can easily be summed up in one word: GREEN. Everything is green and yes, it is definitely raining. I had to walk from the busstation to the hostel and not only did I get very wet in the process, the hostel doesn't have check-in until 3:30pm. Right now it's noon. So I can't really go anywhere because it's raining and because I can't just leave my luggage here. So I'm bored and posting here. The hostel itself is in a tiny town called Sixmilebridge (www.jamaicainn.ie) and there are some geese outside and I'm definitely hearing mooing. I'm sitting in the common room and a minute ago there were some kids watching RHCP videos and talking amongst themselves. I can't understand a word unless I listen very closely. If I'm just trying to overhear someone's conversation I can barely get the drift of what they're talking about. Everyone's really nice though and calls me and everyone else "love" on every occasion. I wish there were some young people here that I could talk to and hang out with, but instead there are a bunch of Irish families. This isn't exactly the typical hostel atmosphere though it's really nice and clean and more like an inn than a hostel. I've got a lot of time to kill and I wish it wasn't 3am in California so I could talk to someone. =(
Miss you all already.

Rena

P.S. I've changed the settings so that anyone can comment, even if you don't have a blogger account =)