vanity?

I talked to my mom today and she chose to tell me that I have no personal life, and that my personal life right now is Timi's personal life. Yes, I do spend a lot of time with Timi and Nate, and I'm sure it has not been the greatest thing for their relationship, but I'm being weened off slowly and surely. It also doesn't help that Timi doesn't want me gone; I only feel the responsibility to distance myself from them so that later I won't have to carry the burden of their breakup on my shoulders.

After a long conversation with Timi I was again convinced of what started guessing some time ago. I feel like a more complete person than most others that I've met.  I think that this is why the famous Jerry Maguire quote, "You complete me", never struck any chords with me. When I watched it I was surprised that it had such an effect on people. It made me realize that this is what most people look for - to be completed. Well, what am I to do if I feel complete already? My answer has been that I need a person to complement me, not complete me. After a while I started wondering what would that complement of a person be like. More and more I am convinced that my perfect mate would be the following. Me, but with slightly different hobbies and interests to provide for some variety.

Now, I know the simple analysis of that is - well, she's just a narcissist. I don't think that's it though. I'm very aware that I am flawed, and like any person I can be very difficult to deal with because of them, but I think that I have the capacity to deal with those flaws if I found them in another person. I think that I would understand where another person like me was coming from. I'd understand their random, inexplicable shyness. I'd wait around for the occasional temper tantrum to pass.  I could deal with a complete absence of punctuality and low motivation. I would understand the irrationality of staying up until 3am when you have to get up for work or class at 7. I would commiserate with them when they woke up to find themselves with piling credit card debt yet again. I would forgive the overdraft fees and understand his desire to hide them from me, if I ever found a bank receipt in a jacket pocket. We could dream of being great writers together while not writing anything worthwhile, if anything at all. We would drive irresponsibly fast on empty highways at night and NOT sing along to songs blasting on the radio in each other's presence because after all, we're not alone, and the pleasure of screaming lyrics at the top of your lungs is never as exquisite as it is when you're savoring it by yourself. I would understand him and he would understand me.

I guess if there is a cheesy phrase for what I want in love, and it's that I want to be understood. And no one understands me better than I do.